


Aces and Spades

by Madquinn13



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M, Joker and Harley have kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:14:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madquinn13/pseuds/Madquinn13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker decides to give Harley something to make her happy. A baby. Well it ends up being twins. Now Joker and Harley are trying to keep their family together no matter what Batman tries to do. When the twins turn 16 they get to finally join in the family fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Baby's Back

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was bugging me since I noticed the baby clothes.  
> The idea for twins came from the dream sequence. This movie is taking over my life and I don't mind at all.

Joker would do anything to keep his Queen happy. He smiled as he watched Harley sleep in their bed, a thin purple satin sheet over her hips hiding her lower half.

He remembers one time when they were just getting ready to call it a night when they drove past a park, a family were having a breakfast picnic, he only really remembered it because Harley was so intently watching the family that she didn’t answer his question.

It was when he started to think about how having an heir to his empire wouldn’t be so bad. He killed the mini bat, why not show the world what a mini him would do? They could kill the Bat as a family.

There was one big issue though, anytime someone so much as joked about them starting a family Harley always laughed and mentioned how a wedding would have to come first.

He heard the stories of summer vacations Harley would take with her niece and nephew, her brother was unemployed and barley paid the child support he owed to either mother, Harley always sent them gifts and money and would cover whatever bills he couldn’t afford. She still did it. Joker would send one of his men to drive down with the now ‘clean’ cash to make sure the kids got whatever they wanted.

So when Harley showed him the test, literally bouncing nonstop with excitement he knew that he couldn’t say no to her. He had agreed that maybe a baby could be fun. If it never got in the way.

That was ten months ago. Now they had a set of twins, a baby boy and a baby girl. They were good and quiet. Joker made it clear that he was the most important person to Harley, that he had to be the most important. Babies could not be number one. He was number one.

Lucy seemed to be calmest when she had all three family members in the room, at least that was what Joker noticed, since whenever it was just him and her in a room she always cried loudly and annoyingly.

J.J. (Joker Jr.) didn’t seem to care either way who or what was in the room with him. Joker ended up pinching him a bunch just to see if he physically could cry or if Lucy had somehow taken his crying ability to double her own.

Harley was loving it. Being a mom really suited her. She would spend time with them just holding them. Some times she would wake up in the middle of the night and catch him holding one or both, rocking them in their nursery. She knew better than to let him know that she was there, or that she knew how he really did care for them. All of them. Mostly they both pretended like they didn’t have any babies, they still did all of their usual things. Going to the club every night, robbing this place and that place. Non stop sex when the mood was right.

Frost was the best nanny, at least until they actually found, interviewed and legitimately hired two nannies. Frost was in charge of all the legit businesses, so that no matter what the kids would be taken care of if say Batman was his usual dickish self and sent them back to Arkham. It was also what stopped the police from taking the club or their home. As far as the law was concerned he and Harley were squatters in Frost’s building.

Harley was currently on the floor playing with J.J. and Lucy when Frost walked in carrying a large bag from a book store.

“Special delivery!” Frost called grinning to match Harley.

“You got ‘em?” She asked standing up and taking the bag from him.

“Do I ever disappoint?” He asked with a sly grin. She started to pull the books out, her new harlequin novels were in the bags, as were the children books.

“Not me.” She answered. “Look babies, Uncle Johnny got you guys books!” She started to laugh. They just stared at her instead.

“Anything else I can do for you?” He asked looking down at her.

“Nope, Mistah J. may want you though, he was muttering about running low on blue print paper.”

“I’ll check with him. If you need anything just call my cell. I’m just going to go home for a little bit and get some sleep.”

“Sounds fine to me.”

* * *

 

Joker had it in his head that he should be telling them bedtime stories. So every night when they were there, he would.

“One upon a time there was a bland brooding bat. He vexed the King and Queen very much. He ruined their fun all the time. The King and Queen decided to have a child. They ended up with two. A Prince and a Princess. Nothing made the King or Queen happier than their babies, except maybe the Bat’s head on a platter but they didn’t have that then.” He paused his story to drink. “The King and Queen had lots of fun together. They would paint the town red! The King had a right hand man. Frost. He would take care of the Prince and Princess for the King and Queen. All the King wanted was to show the rest of the world how things worked. Everyone thought the King was mad but he wasn’t. Only his Queen understood, but even she had to have her eyes opened first.” He sighed. “She was different. He didn’t understand it. Still doesn’t but the Queen may be the one thing in the world the King needs most.”

The babies had started to talk and walk. When they were almost two Harley and Joker went out on date night only for it to end in the harbour.

Batman mentioned that he knew their hideout and would be clearing it out.

How fucking dare he! He wanted to send police trampling through the home of his family!

Those kids wanted for nothing, they had amazing nannies who cared for them. Sure Joker and Harley sometimes went days without seeing them but they were cared for, that was the main thing. He used the technique that was shown in that British show that Harley kept watching, kids were seen for like a half hour after tea and then never again until the next episode.

Joker made the call to Frost to double up the guards on the kids and move them to the secret safe house. Anyone they don’t know go near the building they get shot.

Joker watched Batman dump Harley on the hood of his car, when Harley showed that she was still alive only to be knocked out again Joker decided to leave to his other hideout. He’d get her back later, she’d be fine so long as Batsy doesn’t use that fucking brand and sent her into a regular jail. Most likely she’d end up in Arkham. He could get her out of there without much trouble.

His phone started to go off, the police had showed at the building and arrested three of the lower henchmen. All signs of the kids were gone though and no one that was left behind knew about them. It wouldn’t do well to let the world know about his children until he was able to get them to not be a fucking hinder. He wanted to wait until they were old enough to join in the fun, introduce them into the world for all to see them take their first life. Up on stage at the club. The Prince and Princess of Gotham. He grinned at the thought. He called Frost to come pick him up.

The entire time Harley was locked up he never once went to see the kids. He only agreed to have them to make her happy. To keep her from running off. He didn’t care.

He spent his time in his own room, surrounded by his toys.

He never left the room, he avoided the club, it wasn’t the same without her. He just didn’t feel like going out on a killing spree anymore. He needed his queen.

* * *

 

Joker carried Harley into the new house, it was a mansion just outside of Gotham. Far enough away that they wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. It was the perfect spot for nannies to raise their babies. He carried his giggling queen up into their bedroom. He had everything he promised her, grape soda chilling in a bucket, feet away from the bear skin rug.

“I’ve been waiting to do this for so long Pumpkin.” Joker tossed Harley down on the rug. He was already pulling off his shirt and pants.

“So stop waitin’ Puddin’” Harley was staring up at him with lust filled eyes.

After wards they were lying on the now blood stained rug, bloody knives tossed to the side. Joker was currently running a finger over the new lines on Harley’s back. He stared down at her newly cut back.

“What’s going through that mind of yours Harl?” He asked reaching for the knife to add some new lines.

“I missed you.” She smiled at him.

“I know you did.” He smirked.

They celebrated being reunited another five times until he slapped her when she asked why he was stopping and made a E.D. joke. Fucking cunt knew how to ruin the moment.

She left him and went to see the kids. She wanted to make sure they still remembered her. It wasn’t until she saw herself holding both in the mirror. They were so pink and oddly colored compared to her. No one would be able to tell that they were her children. They didn’t look like her; well Lucy had Joker’s eyes and J.J. had hers, and yeah they both had their daddy’s nose and her ears. Lucy’s hair was getting darker no longer the bright blonde like her mother, J.J. still had his light blonde hair at least.

They both called her Mama and smiled at her. She was glad to see they still remembered her.

“We show them videos and photos of you and Mr. Joker all the time when you’re away. We make sure they never forget their parents.” One of the Nannies in the room explained with an uneasy smile, he was around Harley’s age and he was great with the kids, Harley wasn’t sure which nanny cared for what kid but they were both men so they wouldn’t try and fuck Joker, Joker told Harley under no circumstances was she to flirt, they couldn’t find nannies every other week like the underlings and if she flirted with them he would have to kill them.

“Thanks.” Harley laid them both back in their cribs. “I’m glad you guys are taking care of them when we can’t.” She smiled at them. “If you want time off we’ll get Johnny to find someone to cover for you.”

“If it’s alright with you and Mr. Joker we can just take turns with time off, we can handle the twins alone now and then can’t we?” He turned to the other nanny who nodded.

“Of course it’ll be fine. I wouldn’t recommend it long term but yeah a week or two will be fine.”

“Great, work it out with each other if you have any questions talk to Johnny.” Harley went back to Joker who throwing knives into the ceiling.

“Done smothering them?” He growled.

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes, sometimes it was cute when her Puddin was jealous of the babies but this time it was annoying. “They don’t look like us. They’re too pink.”

“I’m aware but you want them to go to school. We can’t send them to school after a chemical bath Harl you’ll bring the Bat down on them and they’ll grow up in Arkham!”

“We use the same make up on them that we use on us when we need to blend in.” She shrugged.

“Fine.” He admitted. “We’ll send some guys to double check the property then we’ll drop the kids in. Get a priest too. Really make it a literally and symbolic baptism.”

* * *

 

Joker decided to get mini guns made perfect for his children for their fourth birthday. He started to laugh as he taught them how to aim. He was very strict about no killing people until they were older. Lucy was already making stray animals disappear, he remembered finding her walking in with bloody hands and clothes. When he asked what it was from she just looked up at him and said she _played_ with the stray cat that was meowing non stop at night right outside her window. J.J. liked the slow torture. If he found any bugs or rodents in the house he would cut off or pluck off limbs, with the rodents he would use a match to cauterize the wounds so they wouldn’t bleed out. He would laugh as they would try to escape. Joker was always the proud father watching them play.

It wasn’t until Lucy _accidently_ broke Isis’ neck one time while hanging out with Selina while Harley was spending time with the thief. (Selina was still very livid even though Harley made Lucy apologize.) Frankly Joker didn’t see what the issue was. She could always get another cat; it wasn’t like she didn’t have hundreds of them.

Ivy also was no longer talking to them because J.J. was getting into the fire starting phase and well some stupid flower got caught in the blaze he started in her greenhouse.

Now he was watching Lucy fire her child size gun at the Batman shaped targets. She wasn’t half bad. It was almost worth it, all the money their school cost him, all their other needs. Honestly he didn’t think it would cost nearly as much.

“Now now sweetie listen to Daddy.” He knelt down behind her so they had the same eye level. He told her to lift up the gun and aim again. “Now your stance is important.” He nudged her legs to be shoulder length apart. “Hold the gun tightly.” He watched as she basically white knuckled the pistol. “Now make sure you follow the aiming points. That’s right try to go right between his eyes.” He watched her put her finger on the trigger. “Now place the center of your finger on the trigger. Slowly push the trigger back. Don’t move a muscle, hold your breath, just keep adding pressure baby girl.” He watched the gun fire and laughed as the bullet hit the target, it wasn’t between the two X’s for the eyes, but it did hit the target. “It’s good for your first try.” Joker smiled down at her. “Keep it up and you’ll be great!” He left her in the room with Johnny ordering him to keep helping her get better.

He found Harley hanging around one of the spare rooms by her aerial silks.

“Come down and strip. Time for fun.” He looked up at her and grinned.

* * *

 

Being in and out of Arkham and other high level jails throughout the years were taking its toll on the King and Queen of Gotham. Batman even added more help. He had his new Robin and even a female bat. Joker was rolling his eyes at just the thought of it. In a week his kids, his heirs, the fruit of his loins. They were the best of him and Harley. His natural born killers. He was at the club during the day (Harley and the twins were still sleeping off the alcohol and late night/early morning from earlier) with a party planner and carpenter. “I need room for six people on the stage. I also need four thrones made. One very large very elaborate one, purple and green color scheme. Giant J on the top. The second one slightly smaller than the first. Red and blue color scheme. H on the top. Two identical sized ones slightly smaller again from the second. Green and Blue for one, J.J. on that one. Red and purple for the other with a L. Got it?” He asked eyeing the carpenter.

“Of course.” The slightly nervous carpenter spoke with a smile knowing never to even dare saying no to him.

Joker turned to look at the party planner. “I need an amazing sweet sixteen for two very talented kids.”

“What are their interests?”

“Hmm let’s see. The boy likes fire, guns, knives, blood, he can’t handle gin but he likes scotch. The girl likes swords, strangulation, guns, knives, blood, killing animals by pulling off their limps with her bare hands. They both like gymnastics and like all the bits of that. Get it from their mother.” He scoffed as if that last bit was so unbelievable.

“I’ll get something together for them.” The planner smiled at him.

“Perfect. It all needs to be perfect for their introduction to the world.” He walked up on the stage. “Someone give me tape!” He called out looking down at the stage. “You two up here!” He pointed at the stage. They went up with him seconds before a bar back tossed him neon green duct tape. “You two kneel down.” He pointed at two spots on the stage. He walked up to the carpenter first and put a finger gun to his head. “Snippy!” He called back out to the bar back. “How does this look? Be honest.”

“Really off left boss!” Joker nudged the carpenter over to the right. “Still off to the left.”

“Is it equally to the left as she is to the right?”

“Move her half an inch and it’ll be equal.” The planner already moved without being told by Joker. “It looks great now boss!”

“Perfect! Up!” He placed two X’s where they were standing. He walked off the stage like it was nothing and left the club without another word.

He checked to see if anyone was awake when he returned home. He found Lucy asleep on top of her bed, her tank top showing off her shoulder blade tattoo that her mother gave her. _H.Q + J_. Her hair was a deep purple the dyes from his suit mixing with her. (He was sure somewhere deep in his mind he could explain why her hair naturally went that color since it grew so much in fourteen years but he couldn’t remember it). Harley jumped in after J.J. wearing a green shirt. He liked it this way. Those kid had hair the same color as his signature. No one would deny or question who their father was. So long as they didn’t wear that fucking make up and wigs.

He checked on J.J. next, he was too wired to sleep and some father son time would be fun. They could pick out the targets and maybe grab them now so they’d be ready to be his kids first kill.

His shaggy green hair was in his face, he took the cue from his father and usually walked around shirtless showing off his many tattoos as well. One of them was a dead cartoon Batman. J.J. only met the guy once, he was ten, still in his school uniform and wig. He watched him and two others attack his parents. He had listened to his mother and dragged Lucy to a hiding spot, she didn’t believe that they wouldn’t be able to help kill the Bat now. Batman found them and told them that they were safe and to get home to their parents. J.J. covered Lucy’s mouth before she could tell him off.

Joker looked at the matching grin tattoo, the only difference was J.J..’s was on his back not arm or hand. He traced it with his finger. He moved to the tattoo of Robin on fire. He couldn’t wait to have the Bat family heads on his mantel place, killed by his family. He left the room deciding not to wake his son heading to his bedroom hoping that Harley was awake. He was getting bored.

Harley was asleep too. He laying down on the bed and literally giving Harley a hard kick so she fell off the bed.

“What happened!” Harley sat up and looked around the room. “Why you dressed up?”

“I was planning the kid’s coming out to society party.” He explained. “Who should we get for their first kill? Bat family seems more like a work up to point don’t ca think?” He glanced at the room. “Between now and a week from now, anyone of slight power cross us. We save them for the kids. If we don’t get two dumbasses we pick someone.”

“Sounds good to me Puddin.” Harley yawned crawling back in bed laying down with him, cuddling into his side.

“Stay awake.” He pinched her side. “I’m too excited to sleep.”

“You’re such a proud Papa.” Harley grinned into them.

“They’ve pulled off every heist flawlessly. You saw Lucy throw that knife in the guard’s leg. She laughed so hard. Junior had to ice his hands afterwards from the beatings he gave to the guards. I mean yes we made them wear masks and fully covered so no one would see their skin but still. They got wet behind the ears now it’s time for them to join in on the real family fun. I can’t wait to watch them cut off the heads from bird boy and squirrel girl.”

“We’ll get ‘em bronzed and mount ‘em on the wall.” She mumbled falling back to sleep.

“Harl wake up!” Joker smacked her hard in the stomach.

“Honestly Puddin’ go play with Johnny.” She grabbed a pillow close to her to nuzzle. “Or the kids.”

“They’re sleeping. Last time I woke Junior he tried to set our room on fire. Lucy just stabbed us a few times.” He dismissed that idea. “We could always have some fun. Just us.”

“Wait until I’m asleep and you can do whatever you want to me.”

* * *

 

The Maroni family made a move to take over some of their businesses and deals. Dent called them to give them a heads up (Harley swore if it was someone else they would at least laugh at the pun even if it was unintentional but from Dent, nothing) that Maroni wanted Dent to help take them out. Joker knew who the targets were going to be. The Maroni family was only down to four members who were blood related. He was going to give the kids everyone, they could kill the kids first make the parents watch before snuffing them out too.   

He walked around their house planning in his head the best way to attacked the crime family.

He heard something crash in one of the rooms and went to go see what it was. Lucy was hanging upside down by the aerial silks, she had knives strapped to her and was throwing them at various targets and things in the room. The crash was some vase he didn’t remember seeing before. He looked around the room and noticed that all of the targets were hit in deadly spots.

“You’re getting good.” He watched her throw another one.

“Thanks Pops.” She looked at him. “Go get an apple, I want to place William Tell and the lackies keep pissing themselves when I try to play with them.” Joker just started to laugh.

“Tell you what sweetie, I’ll go find someone to play with you, but remember no killing people. Kill all the animals you want, torture people if you want but no killing them.” Joker smiled at his daughter who pouted at the rule. “Don’t worry you’ll be able to kill soon Princess.” He moved over to her and held her chin. “I have your perfect first victim picked.”

“I get to pick how to kill them right?”

“Of course, however you want Princess.” He poked her nose. “Where’s your brother?”

“How should I know?” She went back to throwing her knives.

Joker found him in his bedroom.

“Junior grab your toys it’s time for some father son bonding.” Joker slapped the doorframe numerous times in excitement. “We’re getting the special guests for your party.”

“What Pops we getting’ Batsy and the new Bird Brain?” J.J. got up from his spot lying on the bed. He grabbed a shirt that was draped over his desk chair and pulled it on. “Ma and Luce will be pissed if we leave them behind.”

“No, we’re grabbing someone else. You can’t top Bats as your first kill.” Joker led the way to the garage getting into the driver seat of his usual purple Lamborghini. J.J. got in the passenger seat and was handed an elaborate detailed gun. It was silver with etchings all over it, HA HA was all over the handle, the barrel had Harley and Joker written on one side, it also had cartoonish drawings that matched his tattoos, with batman and robin’s cartoonish dead heads on it. The biggest thing on it on the opposite side of the barrel it had Prince of Gotham written in cursive writing.

“Thanks Pop, it’s gorgeous.” J.J. stared at the gun in his hand.

“We’ll rule Gotham soon my boy. How are the plans working out with school?”

“The Wayne kid is still dating Lucy. No one suspects anything. We can fake being boring better than anyone else. I’m sure I can convince the whole school to drink rat poison just because I say too.” He held onto the dashboard as the car zoomed through the streets.

“Make sure Lucy gets the Wayne kid’s bank info first. Once we empty their accounts you two can do whatever you want to ‘em.” Joker made a hard left turn and almost flipped the car.

“So who are the special guests?”

“Relax, we’re almost there. You’re more impatient than your mother.” He sneered. “Honestly sonny boy if I just tell you there is no fun in it! Now get the machine guns from the back and the bag of ammo and get ready to keep giving them to me when I ask.” He practically growled looking over at him. J.J. grabbed the guns and bag loading it them already. “Did I teach you how to drive after?” Joker asked.

“No, you kept saying you meant too but you would get distracted by things.” J.J. looked out the window, he knew this part of the city was in Maroni territory. Not that he was sacred, he just knew that this meant the night was ending in death.

“Well time to learn now. I’m going to shoot and you grab the wheel, no matter what I’m slamming on the gas, it’s the only way to drive.” Without another word he rolled down the window and grabbed the guns. Shooting down the guards posted outside a large gate before crashing the car through the gate. They were finally at the Maroni house.

“We didn’t you send some of the lackies to do the grunt work and just hang back?” J.J. questioned his father only to have him literally slam on the breaks causing his son to slam into the dash and wheel setting off the horn.

“If you just send in the fucking drones people don’t fear you! They need to know that you’re a one man fucking murder machine not just some guy who has a bunch of other guys working for him! That’s the difference between **us** and **them**!” Joker gestured to the house. “If you think you’ll need back up then you take them! You want distractions take them! This is a simple job and I only wanted to take you!” He yelled turning back to the windshield and muttering a gruff, buckle up you fuck, before slamming on the gas and going straight through the front door.

“Oh Salvatore! It’s rude to keep your guests waiting!” Joker called out. “Don’t worry Sal isn’t your surprise. Not by himself, we’re bringing the whole family! His boys, you and Luce get to kill while Sally and the misses watch!”

“More reason to draw it out.” He grinned.

“Such a good boy.” Joker grinned winking at his boy. “Sally don’t make me come up there!” He screamed out pulling out the gun and firing it off into the ceiling causing dry wall to fall onto the car. “You’re making me coming up there.” He groaned. “Junior pass your Pa the grenades.” Joker held out his hand for the explosive. J.J. handed the device over to his father who pulled out the pin and threw it into the large staircase, going up to the top floor landing. The explosion shook the house and he heard the yelling and screaming from upstairs. “Come down or I blow the whole house!” Joker was pleased to see the dumbass twins come down first. “Use the tranqs on them Junior and get them in the trunk.” Joker watched his son lean out of the car and shoot each of the large young adults in the neck with the tranquilizer gun and dragged them out to the trunk cuffing them so if they woke before they got wherever he planned to keep them until the party, they couldn’t come out swinging. “Come on son, time to hunt us some fuckers.”

Joker led the way spraying bullets the entire time. “Come out Sally! I already got your boys!” He shot around the hall, going straight into the master bedroom. He kicked the door down and kept firing, pausing now and then to reach behind himself for J.J. to pass him another round of bullets.

They found his wife hiding under the bed and J.J. shot her too and dragged her out. Salvatore Maroni, one of the most feared crime bosses of Gotham was hiding in his closet.

“See son. If you just send your lackies then you will never get this reaction.” Joker pulled Salvatore out of the closet by his hair. “Now Sally, I heard you wanted me dead. We can’t have that!” He gestured J.J. to come over. “Now Sally this is my boy. Junior what would you think if this guy’s plan came true? That your dear mother and father were snuffed out, their club, your birthright was taken, snatched up and ruined by his fucking grunts of sons.”

“If it happened, I’d fucking hunt him down and rip his tongue out and stuff it down his throat while I made enough small cuts while taking bets on if he’d bleed out or choke first.” J.J. answered staring down at the man before him. “You want to mess with my family?” J.J. bent down to stare him in the eyes. “I’m going to make you watch as I erase yours.”

Joker watched on with a proud smile. That was his boy literally making a mob boss piss himself in fear. “Just shoot him already, you can play with your new toy later.”

* * *

 

They dropped everyone off at a different place, everyone was kept separate so no one knew who was still alive. J.J. seemed to still be riding the high when they walked into the house. Joker figured he might as well see if Lucy had found someone to play William Tell with after. He entered her room and found a knife in the eye of a still living goon.

“What the fuck is this?” He hissed gesturing to the man on the floor.

“I thought it would be more fun to go for an eye rather than an apple.” She smirked at him through her long hair.

“I told you that you weren’t allowed to kill anyone! You could get all those urges and desires out on the fucking animals but no! You can’t fucking listen! I am trying to plan a very elaborate and huge party to celebrate your first kill! But you throw it away for something that seemed like more fun at the time! You ungrateful little bitch!” He backhanded her sending her off balance onto the floor only to pick her back up and slam her into the wall hands wrapping around her neck. He pulled out his own gun and shot the goon in the head splattering his brains all over to room. He then placed the gun against Lucy’s temple. “I should have loaded that gun with real bullets, have Harl kill you way back then.” He sneered. He pulled back a bit, not moving his hand from her neck. Honestly thinking of reasons not to kill her on the spot. Instead he settled on pistol whipping her a bit before letting her sink down the wall. “Now you’re going to have bruises for your fucking big coming out party!” He stared down at her. “Go to Hot Topic tomorrow and try and find some make up for your natural skin tone. I expect you to look perfect in front of all my guests.”

He turned his back on her and felt the knife sink into his arm. He pulled it out and turned to her. She was standing up, barely, another knife in her hand that wasn’t supporting her against the wall. She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Next one goes in your fucking head. Do not tell me what to do!” She yelled at him.

He pulled out his gun and shot her in the arm holding the knife. “Now you can’t wear a sleeveless. Keep it up bitch and I’ll put one between your eyes.” He left the room without another incident closing the flap on the outside and placing the heavy lock on the steel door. He had them installed when the kids stopped seeing them as authority figures and more as other things that they can stab or set on fire.

He blames Harley not wanting to use physical punishments, some book she read mentioned how spanking kids was abuse. He was pretty sure pistol whipping them was as well but it was all that worked to get it through their heads. Stubbornness ran in the family.

* * *

 

It was time for the party. Lucy had a new gun that matched her brother’s only hers went with her own tattoos. Everyone who was anyone in the crime scene of Gotham were at the club. Ivy and Cat Woman came, apparently time made up for kids killing single women’s babies that weren’t actually babies. No one knew what the reason was, they just knew they couldn’t miss it.

“Thank you everyone for joining us tonight. See we had a secret that only a very select few knew. Sixteen years ago today Harley and I welcomed two babies into the world. I know what you’re all thinking and yes they’re just as perfect as you’re imagining. See I can already see your gears turning. Kill the kids, take the kids, I’d give in. HA! I’m not a sentimental man. Never was. Never will be. But those sixteen years I made sure that my heirs would truly be worthy to be my heirs.” Joker continued his monologue. Off stage in the wings Harley had an arm around each kid, she was grinning wide holding them close to her.

“He’s so proud of you both.” Harley spoke. “He doesn’t mention it, but he is. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about you both. He is so proud and loves you two more than anything. We both do.” Neither twin fully believed her. Lucy had memories of Harley pointing a gun at her and pulling the trigger because Joker said he was bored with the thoughts of the kids so Harley was going to kill them both, the gun he passed her was loaded with blanks, he was just making sure that he was still number one. Personally J.J. didn’t think anyone in their family was capable of feeling love, you shouldn’t be able to do what they did, enjoy it and still have full emotional range. He brought it up to his mother once when he first thought of it, he was twelve and Harley just laughed and said ‘You sound like an old friend of mine, Floyd. He didn’t think he could love either.’ He highly doubted love really existed.

“Without further ado I would like to introduce you to the fruit of my loins, my own flesh and blood. Lucy and Joker Jr.” The club applauded as the twins walked out. J.J. was wearing a blue dress shirt, half buttoned up, black dress pants and black dress shoes, his head usually had a snapback or beanie on it (a stupid trait he shared with his sister) but for the occasion it was bare, his usual messy hair slicked back and styled. He grinned at the crowd standing behind the X on the floor where his victim would be soon. Lucy had her long purple hair braided off to the side, she did wear a strapless gown, the bullet wound was at least not bleeding anymore so for the party she had it uncovered, it was harder to tell that she was barely using her arm.

Joker presented their special guests. Sal and his wife were dropped before Joker and Harley while the sons, Umberto and Pino were dropped in front of the twins.

“Happy birthday kids! You can finally take a life.”

Lucy took the small knife her mother was holding out to her. She turned so the parents could see the look on their son’s face she killed him. She started playing with her new toy, cutting across his cheek and licking the blood off the knife, closing her eyes savoring the taste. She looked back to her parents. “I could do this all night.”

J.J. however was being much quicker. He had a straight razor and was making large deep gashes covering his shirt and his face.

He started to laugh as the crime family yelled and screamed. He turned to the crowd. “Remember folks the first five rows are the splash zone!” He grabbed Pino by his hair and yanked his head back slicing his throat. He looked over to his sister, still playing with her toy with constant shallow cuts all over his body, she was currently going down his arms and heading into his chest. “Hurry up it feels amazing.” He turned to the parents. “Now which one goes first?” He asked laughing.

“Not until Lucy is done. They need to watch both die.” Joker tisked.

The crowd was still staring at them. Many stuck in shock horror, others knowing that they would most likely end up dead as well if they tried to leave.

Lucy was now on his chest. She frowned as Umberto’s eyes rolled in the back of his head. “No no no no no no!  You don’t get to check out in the middle of the fun! I am not done yet!” She yelled slamming her fists down on him. When it was clear that he wasn’t waking up anytime soon. “Fine then!” She plunged the dagger deep into his chest literally cutting out his heart. She turned to J.J. “Which one did you want?” She asked holding the heart in her hand, her dress was beyond ruined, she was literally covered in his blood.

“I’m not picky.” He shrugged. “Do you two have any preference?” He asked the bound parents now childless. The mother spat at him while Sal just tried to make one last deal with Joker. J.J. took out his gun, cocked it and placed it against the wife’s head. “Well you made your choice.” He pulled the trigger covering himself, Sal, his parents and his sister in her brains. Sal seemed to have lost it screaming and yelling now. Lucy just rolled her eyes using Umberto’s heart as a gag.

“Shut up!” Lucy stared at the former crime boss. She used the knife handle to shove the heart down his mouth until he was choking on it. She smiled up at her parents. Clearly that was a punchline, choking on someone’s own son’s heart. She turned to the crowd. “Time for drinks!”

* * *

 

The night had ended with the twins on their thrones (thankfully pre scotch guarded) while their parents gave them tattoos. Lucy was having _Killer_ on her outer thigh done by Joker while Harley did _Murderer_ on her son’s chest. They were both tipsy but not overly drunk.

Harley had little crowns made, they were both silver and filled with gems, Lucy had mostly red rubies in her tiara while J.J. had blue sapphires in his crown.

Everyone was in the car. The twins were in the back leaning against their respective car doors.

“Do we have to go back to school in a week?” J.J. asked looking up at his parents.

“Yes.” Harley snapped. “But next time we go on a heist you can come and hope Batsy ruins the ruin. That way you can help us kill ‘em good.”

Joker was swerving in and out of traffic, Harley would complain now and then that he was driving like a grandma and needed to speed up.

“Some douche in a black car is following us.” J.J. noticed, his eyes half closed. The last ten bowls may not have been a good idea in hindsight, he was pretty sleepy. Lucy seemed to be a bit better. She looked up at the wind and sat up fully awake and aware.

“It’s Bats! This is perfect!” She grabbed the machine gun that they always kept in the backseat. “Put it in neutral Dad that way he’ll slam into us! Then boom right between the eyes!”

“That’s boring Princess. We can’t give him a quick death.” Joker took a hard corner causing Lucy to slam into J.J. in the backseat and both of them to curse. “What did I say about wearing seatbelts during chases!”

Batman shot out one of their tires causing them to start spinning out of control. Lucy and J.J. slammed into what was Lucy’s side, the window cracking under her head.

“Okay kiddies time to load up on weapons!” Joker was out of the car guns blazing. Harley smiled back at them.

“Don’t be too long you know how he gets when he’s in a mood. He’ll hog the fun.”

Joker was firing like mad at the grown man in the bat themed gimp suit. Harley was firing at him while also using her mallet to keep him on his toes. J.J. sobered up some and was charging at Batman, Joker stopping his firing and deciding to join in on the hand close fun. Lucy stepped out of the car and just charged at him throwing a knife that dug into the Dark Knight’s cheek. She jumped up and was grabbed by her leg and tossed off to the side. J.J. tackled the dork knight right after he tossed Lucy aside, Harley slammed the mallet into Batman’s face the same time J.J. tackled him and he went down. J.J. used this to just keep punching him in the face over and over again, it helped that his parents were slamming the Bat down to prevent him from actually getting the teen off him.

“Now Batsy I suppose I should introduce you. These are my kids. Lucy is the one who threw the knife that is currently in your cheek. Junior is the one who broke your nose and is working on your face.” Joker grabbed the knife and twisted it before pulling it out tossing it to Lucy who caught it effortlessly.

“Aren’t they amazing.” Harley asked foot on his chest.

“Mind if I interrupt the fun?” A voice asked from above. Lucy looked up and saw the man in the black suit, blue mask with some bird in blue on his chest. She grabbed her gun and started shooting at him until a sharp black object cut into her hand causing her to drop it.

“Forget Bats, go kill him.” Joker pulled J.J. off Batman and shoved him towards to the newcomer to the fight.

Lucy just glared at him from her spot. “You coming down or do we have to go up?”

“Think you can?” He watched as the twins climbed up the buildings with only a few flips until he had one on either side of the fire escape.

“You are you suppose to be?” J.J. asked staring at the man before them.

“I was just about to ask you two that. I didn’t think Joker went to middle schools to recruit.” The girl seemed to have found this hilarious and she started to laugh.

“You tell us who you are first, then we’ll tell you our story.”

“That include whose blood is all of you?”

“It does.”

“Fine. I’m Nightwing.”

“Never heard of you.” J.J. laughed. “And that says something. For as long as I can remember my parents make a point of making sure we knew the who’s who of Gotham. Batman and Robin were included. Nightwing? Never heard of you.”

“I answered your question answer mine.”

“We just came from our birthday party.” Lucy answered. “The blood is the Maroni family.”

“They were a gift from our parents.” J.J. answered.

“Your parents? Who are they?”

“They’re down there.” Lucy pointed to where her parents were fighting with Batman who had somehow gotten back to his feet. “You don’t see the resemblance?”

J.J. noticed the eskrima sticks in his hands. “You come to talk or fight? If you think it’s unfair we’ll fight you one at a time.”

“Now how will I know that while I’m focused on one of you the other won’t try to shoot me in the back?”

“We’ll go up to the roof, we’ll stay on the same side.”

“Fine. You two head on up.”

Lucy wasn’t sure how it ended up like this. Her vision was fussy. Batman was cuffing her parents and putting them into his car. She looked at the unconscious man by her. J.J. was also out cold just a few feet away.

“Let’s make a trade.” Lucy spoke glaring at him. “I don’t slit his throat and in exchange you leave them.” She pointed to her parents. “I already killed two people tonight, I’m itching for a third.” She drew the knife across his neck, leaving a small line of freshly drawn blood. “Do you honestly think I won’t?”

He raised a black bat shaped thing.

“Let them go or he dies.” She repeated.

“Fine.” He let them both just fall to the ground, their heads making sickening thuds as they landed.

She tossed the unconscious man to him before putting all three family members in the car.

“This isn’t over.”

“No it’s not. It won’t be until your head off your neck.” Lucy growled before speeding off in the car. This was a sour end to an otherwise great night.

* * *

 

The week following went by too quick. Frost heard that Batman was waiting for signs of the family to show. They had to be caution now. He was only meant to meet them once, on the day he died. But no. He found them, tipsy and stoned and not at their best. Joker still cursed it every time he saw the cop’s blood on the side of his newly dented car. Lucy was pulled over because she clearly never drove before, instead of dealing with the cop any other way she just shot him in the face and drove off.

Lucy’s arm was infected and was currently bandaged and in a sling. Joker watched her and J.J. on the couch playing some video game with Harley who was lying upside down on the couch.

The kids had to go back to school tomorrow and he knew that nether he nor Harley would be awake until they came back. Frost picked up their uniforms from the dry cleaners earlier.

He moved over to the couch taking the controller out of J.J.’s hands and started to play. “Who am I now?”

“Giant turtle with spikes.” J.J. answered. He has never seen anyone as good as this game as his mother if it wouldn’t end in a shoot out with the cops he’d sign her up for tournaments.

“What are you plans for tomorrow?” Joker asked nudging Lucy to make sure she knew he was addressing her.

“Spend more time with Wayne until I get his bank info, clear him and his father out of all their riches.” Lucy answered while pressing buttons on her controller.

“Good. Or I suppose get knocked up by him then we kill all the Waynes so we’re put in charge of the money and company.” Joker shrugged. “You know a plan B.”

“We are not going with Plan B.” Harley grunted. “I am too young to be a grandma.”

Lucy just laughed because otherwise she’d be too tempted to remind her mother that despite what she may think and feel she was not too young to be a grandma, she was constantly aging, she didn’t freeze in time.

They played the game in relative silence minus various slurs and insults at each other. After that round J.J. grabbed their other controller so he could play as well.

After hours Frost came in and like usual had to remind them that they hadn’t eaten yet. He was willing to go get them whatever they wanted.

Lucy wanted him to go get a DQ ice cream cake for her. J.J. wanted fries from six fast food restaurants. Harley wanted hot dogs and fries she didn’t care where but she wanted special hot dogs, like fancy ones. Joker just wanted a smoothie because honestly the eating habits of the others made him sick.

The twins went to bed a few hours after they finished eating leaving their parents alone.

“You know what always gets my blood pumpin’ Harl?” Joker asked looking at the amazing woman he begrudgingly fell in love with.

“What Puddin’?” Harley asked from her position spread out across his lap.

“A heist.” He shoved her off him standing up.

“Come on we can’t do that. The kids will get pissed if we leave them out and we can’t take them when they have to play the role of perfect boring goody-goodies.” She tried to explain to him but he clearly didn’t care.

“Come on Harl, it’ll be like before the kids, or when they were younger.” Joker grinned at her and held out a hand. “I’ll go without you.”

“I’m going.” She answered taking his head.

* * *

 

Gotham Academy was the same as it was before the summer.

Blazers pressed, tattoos and bleached skin covered with make up, wigs on so no one could have the slightest thought of their hair being anything but normal shades.

They walked through the crowds, red ties done up properly, shirts buttoned up to their necks.

“Have I ever told you how stunningly beautiful you are?” A voice asked leaning against Lucy’s locker. His black hair styled into small spikes, a smirk on his lips.

“Hello to you too Damian.” She grinned at him as he pulled her over to him and wrapped her arms around her. “I missed you this summer.”

“I missed you too. Did you have fun on your vacation?” He tilted her chin up so he could kiss her properly. When the kiss broke Lucy looked back at J.J. who was now at his locker putting his stuff away.

“I did. What about you? Have fun with your mom?” Lucy cupped his cheek, her thumb absently stroking.

“Yeah it was fun seeing her again.” He shrugged. “You have fun Jay?”

“I have more fun when I’m not watching you paw at my sister.” He deadpanned from behind his locker door.

“This is hardly pawing. If you want to see pawing, I’ll show you.” He smirked before being gently swatted at by Lucy.

“Behave you.” She turned to look at J.J. “You too.” Her voice was harsher when addressing her brother.

“So this weekend to celebrate surviving the first week back I’m throwing a party. You two are invited of course.” Dick told him that he needed to act more like a normal teen, he had a girlfriend and now he was going to play the party of party boy. “My Dad is going out of town and he said I can have some friends over.”

“Let’s have fun then.” Lucy answered for the both of them. She’d been to the Wayne Manor before, if it was a party they could take some small trinkets with no one being the wiser.

The bell rang throughout the halls. “I’ll walk you to class.” He smiled at Lucy holding out his hand for her to take, grabbing her bag as well.

J.J. rolled his eyes at them leaving in the opposite direction.

“Any chance your parents will let you stay the night after the party? I can properly show you how much I miss you.” Damian stopped in the hallway to kiss her again, harder and more passionate. She pushed him back slightly.

“I’ll ask but I can’t promise anything. I can see if Jay will cover me if nothing else.”

“Your brother doesn’t like me.”

“He’s just protective. He think you’re a bad influence.” Lucy teased. “After all I’ve never been to the principle’s office. You practically have your own reserved seat there. You can’t stay out of fights can you?” She asked while wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Nope. If I see some kid getting their ass handed to them then I can’t just stand by. I need to act.”

“Mmm my hero.” She kissed him again. “Now I really need to get to class, can’t start it off being late for the first time.”

“Jay’s right. I am a bad influence.” Damian grinned.

* * *

 

All J.J. wanted was to punch stupid Damian Wayne in his stupid fucking face. He was too handsy with Lucy, he was nothing but trouble, that’s all Lucy was too but that wasn’t at school, not where she had to pretend to be good.

He wasn’t a prude, he couldn’t be with his parents, he’s walked in on them more times and in more positions than he could count.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, waiting for the coast to be clear he saw the text from Lucy.

**Lucy 9:10am: He wants me to spend the night during the party. He plans to have sex…we need to find heavy duty water proof make up.**

**J.J. 9:11am: Just say no. Mom doesn’t want to do Plan B.**

**Lucy 9:11am: Sex isn’t Plan B. Sex is included in all Plans J.J!**

**J.J. 9:12am: It doesn’t have to be. Tell him you want to wait until marriage. I don’t even know if we can get you cover up that will last all day and night and another day!**

**Lucy 9:12am: I’ll check with Ma, she’ll know what make up holds out during and after sex.**

“Mr. Frost does History bore you?” The teacher asked from the front of the room. J.J. slipped the phone into his pocket.

“No Sir, sorry Sir.” It was something that he always hated. Of course he couldn’t use his mother’s last name, it was all over the news when she was brought in, and while no one knew his father’s real name, that also included his father, he used so many fake ones he honestly didn’t remember his real one. So in all his legal paper work his name was Jay Frost. It was actually Johnathan but the school and everything else just had him listed as Jay.

It was weird giving fake respect to a man who he could easily kill, he could blow the entire school up if his father didn’t seem to think that this could lead to something big, that having kids so well integrated with the population of Gotham. If he woke up with the odd desire to place bombs all over the place including schools he could gets the kids to do it.

If he wasn’t forced to be such a loser, then he would just bash Wayne and anyone else who stared at his sister like she was some slut. He kept fidgeting with his shirt, he wasn’t use to having one buttoned or even on his body and he would never get use to it.

Instead of taking notes he was thinking of new tattoo designs. This new one would be of Nightwing’s dead head. Stupid fucker. He looked down at where his new tattoo would be if it wasn’t for the shirt and make up. He took his first lives and damn it he wanted to take more. He **needed** to take more.

* * *

 

Bruce was down in the Batcave going through old video footage.

“What are you watching?” Damian asked leaning on the computer.

“Old footage from ACE Chemicals. Joker and Harley Quinn kidnapped a priest, then they took two babies and tossed them into the acid. No one reported any missing children and no families were murdered or anything.” He explained. “I never got an explanation who the kids were. I just gave up on them.”

“So why are you looking at it now?”

“This is footage from last night. See the hair it’s the same color as the babies when they came out of the acid. They claim to be their children. I didn’t think it was possible for them to have a child.”

“They the ones who stabbed you in the face and knocked out Dick?”

“Yes. I want you to be caution during patrols, all four of them are highly trained. Please be careful.”

“I will don’t worry.” He smiled before taking off on his motorcycle.

It was all quiet, a few thugs mugging people, nothing terrible. Then he passed by a club that Joker and Harley were known to party in. Everyone said Joker owned it but it was owned by a third party businessman. His name was John Frost, Bruce questioned him a few times, threatened him a bunch each time Frost said that Joker and Harley threatened his family, that if he called the cops or tried to stop them from coming in it would end in a blood bath of everyone he loved. He feared Batman, but he was terrified of Joker and Harley Quinn. Damian called the number he had for Frost. Frost agreed to meet Batman tomorrow night, they could pick the place.

Bruce wasn’t sure that Frost wasn’t willingly working for Joker. Not completely.

“Whaca doin’ so far from home Birdy?” Lucy literally jumped down from her positon on a fire escape just across the street.

“You must be the daughter.” Damian smirked at her.

“I must. You saw the thrashing I gave to Nightdink?” Lucy had her hair lying down all around her, her shirt was a small tank top, white with a face that matched her father’s in a crude sense at least was plastered on it. Her pants looked painted on, one leg purple the other red. She had on jacket to cover up from the brisk autumn wind it was also red and purple much like her mother’s own jacket with different colors.

“I did. How many knives do you have hidden in that outfit? Twenty?”

“Let’s play a game. You ask me questions and I’ll answer truthfully with some exceptions, only when I ask you, you also have to tell me the truth.”  

“With a few exceptions.” He finished. “Fine. I’ll go first. Are they really your parents?”

“Joker and Harley? Yup! They’re my parents! Don’t you see the resemblance?” She held out her arms giving a pose. “My turn. Batman your Dad or are you some kid that blows him? Or does he do the blowing? Who blows who?”

“No one blows anyone! He is my biological father.” Damian growled. “How old are you?”

“Just turned 16. Why are you here? You know you can’t take on the whole family by your lonesome.”

“Maybe I want to see inside the club.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

“Exceptions remember.” He smirked. “My turn. You live with your parents full time?”

“Uh huh. Ig you want to see the inside of the club I can bring you in. No one gets hurt or arrested.”

“Deal.” Damian turned on the small camera that was hidden into his mask by pressing a button on his glove.

“You’ll need to wear something else. No offense but you’re asking for a beating or a fucking in that much leather.” Lucy grinned at him reaching for his mask. He just snatched her hand in the middle of the air, centimetres away from touching his mask.

“It stays on.” He shoved her back.

“Fine but if some middle aged man grinds into your ass on the dance floor you can’t blame him for getting the wrong idea.” She raised her hands in air in defeat leading the way into the club strolling right past the bouncer. She pulled him behind her up onto the stage where she whistled to get everyone’s attention. “Listen up folks! Bird Boy here wanted to see what the big deal was! We don’t beat him, he doesn’t beat and arrest us! Got it!” She shouted, no one made a movement towards either one so they must have listened. Lucy sat down in her throne. That surprised Damian. They literally had fucking thrones. “So what’dya think?”

“Bit disappointed to be honest.” He shrugged. “Just you here?”

“They’re in the VIP section. J.J.’s getting ready for a big show.” She had her legs up on one arm rest looking out at the dance floor. “You go to regular school?”

“Yes. Who took care of you when both parents were in jail?” He was standing near her looking around the club, trying to see if it was clear who was working for the crime family.

“Nannies mostly.” She looked like she was growing bored with the game. She opened her mouth to suggest something but she stopped three people were walking out of the private area while two masked thugs carried some one in from a side door.

“Time for the show.”


	2. Chapter 2

Damian stared at the scene before him completely shocked. The crime family that he was there to investigate were walking towards him on the stage with the forth member now standing from her throne by him.

“What do you mean by show time? What are they planning?” He turned to face Lucy livid.

“What do you think they’re planning?” She rolled her eyes at him. Junior was on the stage now, grinning wildly at the crowd. He eyed the fact that Robin was on their stage but whatever Lucy seemed to have her reasons for having him there.

“Let’s have a test.” He turned to Robin. “You can answer too.” He went back to the audience, his parents still weren’t on the stage and Damian was glad about that. He wasn’t looking forward to being surrounded by this family on all sides. “What is one car you should never ever break into?” He turned to the man who was gagged and bound being lifted off his feet by two masked goons. Junior ripped the gag out of the man’s mouth. “Well?”

“I didn’t know it was your car!” He spoke in one fast rush his panic showing through.

“You smash the window of a purple Lamborghini, you take shit out of the car and then try to sell them.” He looked around the room. “Raise your hand if you ever saw any other purple fucking Lamborghini in Gotham!” When no one moved he grabbed the man’s chin in one hand. “You had to have known it was our car! I fucking found you trying to sell our stuff! So since you are claiming to be so fucking stupid you can help me educate the rest of the city.” More goons were on the stage now moving the thrones closer to the back of the stage.

Junior was planning on killing this random thief all because he was picked the wrong car to break into.

“Remember the deal.” Lucy warned him. “You break it first, I’ll break you.”

“That deal didn’t include murder.” He stressed.

“It included the possibility of it. You know what we do here. You know it’s happened here before.” She smiled as her made their way to the stage. Joker’s eyes zeroed in on Robin then to Lucy who was the closest to him. The look alone was enough to put fear in Damian.

“What’s he doing still alive?” Joker turned to Lucy ignoring Junior and the man nearly pissing himself in fear still begging in that fast rushed tone. Before Lucy had the chance to even open her mouth however the club was filled with smoke as two figures busted through the roof. Within seconds, Damian was grabbed as was the man about to be killed, it didn’t take many more seconds for bullets to be shot towards the fleeing figures.

“What are you doing? We need to go back down there and stop them!” Damian was already trying to get out of his father’s grip.

“There are too many civilians in the club. A fight will only put them at risk.” Bruce rationalized. “We don’t want them to be caught in the crossfire.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” The adrenaline was leaving him now and he looked down and noticed blood dripping down his arm. A bullet had grazed him during the escape. He needed to start working on explanation for it for his girlfriend.

* * *

The second it was clear that the Bats were gone and not coming back Joker attacked. He had Lucy by her throat and slammed her down into the floor his gun pressing down hard on her forehead.

“What the fuck was he doing in here?” Joker snarled. The answer he was given was just Lucy trying to speak while not being able to breathe.  Joke did let go of her neck to allow her to breathe, keeping the gun trained of course.

“We made a deal. He wanted to see what it was like inside. He wasn’t going to do anything.” She explained.

“You made a deal? You made a deal so he could see what it looked like?” He went back to choking her, now with both hands, his gun being tossed to the side.

“I was looking forward to killing that dumbass.” J.J. huffed crossing his arms over his chest looking at his mother who just shrugged looking out at the now empty club.

“Go find someone else.” She yawned jumping down off the stage heading towards the bar leaving Joker to do the parenting. She was pouring herself a drink when the club filled with the sound of a loud bang. She turned around to stare at the stage. Joker, her Puddin’ was stumbling backwards staring at his bloody hands. Lucy was still on the floor but she held her gun, Joker never took from her.

Harley was torn. Her mind screaming at her to make Lucy pay for daring to shoot her Puddin’ but her heart screamed at her to check on him first. Make sure he would be fine before dealing out punishment.

In the end her heart won. She easily ignored Joker’s hands trying to push her away. The bullet was out and missed any organs or important arteries. He would be fine so long as they get the bleeding to stop. She pulled Joker’s shirt off telling him to hush when he asked what she thought she was doing. She tied the shirt around him tight and asked him to hold it there. He rolled his eyes but listened, as nutty as she was now, she did go to medical school.

“Do I have the doctor’s permission to deal with the brat?” He sneered at her knowing that moving before checking would just have her fuss over him more.

“Nope. I’ll deal with her.” Harley smiled at him before turning gun pointed at her daughter head. Lucy still had her gun raised, she was ready to make sure she was safe.

“I’ll do it.” Lucy warned her, she was breathing heavily still trying to get back to normal from the choking.  Harley shot her in the forearm causing her to drop the gun.

“You don’t threaten to do something.” Harley practically hissed. “You just fucking do it!” She shot Lucy again this time in her upper arm. “Have you learned nothing?” She yelled firing into Lucy’s other arm when she reached for the gun again. She went back over to Joker yelling for someone to bring the car around. J.J. just looked around at his family annoyed that he was left out of the bloodshed. “I’ll head home later.” He explained. His kill was interrupted and he wanted to remedy that.

One of the thugs looked around. “Want me to carry Lucy?” He called out to either Joker or Harley.

“She can get home herself!” Harley yelled back.

* * *

Damian was in the Bat Cave getting his arm cleaned and bandaged.

“What were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was? What would you have done if we didn’t get there in time?” Bruce was already getting into his lecture mode.

“I would’ve handled it! I know what I’m doing!” He shot back.

“You could’ve been killed Damian! You’re grounded for a month!”

“What? I’m grounded?”

“No patrols for a month.” Bruce stood his ground. Damian turned to look at Dick who just shrugged in support. Bruce stormed off after that leaving Dick to finish bandaging Damian’s arm.

“He’s worried and scared. He could have lost you today and that scares him. Ever since Jason he’s more guarded, he more protective. He just doesn’t want anything to happen to you. If Harley and Joker could kill Jason with just the two of them, the fact that it’s now 4 of them. He was just worried.” When Dick finished Damian just stared at him.

“I’m not helpless.”

“I know.”

“I can handle myself just fine.”

“I know. But hey at least he didn’t ground you from regular life. You can still have your party. We can finally properly meet Lucy.”

“Dad is meeting with Clark, you, can be anywhere but here, I don’t want you around during the party.” Damian stressed.

“Fine but I want to meet Lucy properly soon. I mean those two minutes when we ran into you two wasn’t nearly enough time for me to properly embarrass you.”

“Yeah that is never happening.” Damian pushed passed him, if he was going to be forced to hang up the costume for a month then he was taking advantage of his new free time.

“Think of a good excuse for your arm! Girlfriends tend to disapprove of bullet grazes!” Dick called out after him.

* * *

Lucy was having a hard time getting back up after getting shot in both arms. It was worth it though. She isn’t letting anyone kill her. No she is going out in a blaze of glory or not at all. None of the goons were helping her, they were more scared of her parents than her. She didn’t blame them, they had years of proof of what Harley was capable of, they rarely saw Lucy unhinged. Oh but they will.

She made her way over to the bar, slowly but surely sitting down on a stool. She poured one bottle of vodka over one arm, and then did the same to the other biting her lip as it stung.

_I've got the devil on my shoulder, over and over. And I just can't sink any lower, lower and lower. The hounds of hell are getting closer, closer and closer. I've got the devil on my shoulder, over and over._

The silent club filled with the ringtone. Lucy just plastered on a sweet smile before answering her phone.

“Hey Dame, is everything okay? You don’t normally call this late.” She checked the time, it was almost one in the morning.

“ **Sorry, did I wake you?** ”

“Nope I was up anyways, but you didn’t answer my question is everything okay?” She tried to force herself to sound more caring.

“ **Yeah everything is fine, I just had a hard night. Wanted to hear your voice.** ” Damian would beat himself up if he heard it. But at the same time, he didn’t care. He really cared about her.

“Awh, I’m sorry baby. Just think how great it will be Friday night. Jay already figured out the perfect plan. I’ll tell my parents I’m spending the night with a girlfriend.”

“ **I am a bad influence on you, lying to your parents? Bad girl.** ” He sighed looking around his bedroom. He would need to clean it up before Friday, Alfred never cleaned his room Bruce thought it would teach him something, character or discipline. Even though Bruce himself grew up with a full cleaning staff.

“You’re worth it.” Lucy was stitching herself up surprised by how little she felt as she did this. It wasn’t easy but thankfully it was mostly in the wrist. “Do you have detention tomorrow or can we actually go out for lunch?” She asked a coy smile playing on her lips.

“ **I don’t have detention yet. I’ll make sure to bring a spare helmet for the bike.** ” He smiled at himself loving the idea of having his arms around her. He was already picking out a leather jacket to give her, Alfred could pick it up while he was in class.

“I can’t wait.” She forced herself to yawn, good girls didn’t stay up all hours of the night. “I need to get some sleep, but you’re sure you’re okay? I don’t mind staying up if you need to talk, I’m always here for you Damian.”

“ **No it’s okay. We can talk about it tomorrow. Get some sleep.** **Goodnight Lucy.** ”

“Goodnight Damian.” She hung up and stared down at this goon in a giant cat head snickering. “Something funny furball?” She growled. The second she could actually used both her arms again she was going on a spree through the hired help.

* * *

Jay walked through the streets grinning widely, opening lighting and snapping close the zippo in his hand, a gas can in his other hand. He came upon a small group of about eight homeless people were huddled and asleep under a makeshift shelter.

He whistled as he poured the gasoline over the shelter, splashing it onto the people as they slept, most so drunk they didn’t even stir. He bent down to get a better look at everyone, using his phone to take pictures of them all before making a small trail then tossing the not quite empty can back at them. He picked up a paper bag from the ground, lighting it on fire and tossing it to ignite the trail to the shelter. His phone capturing the whole scene on video as the five people and the three children screamed and panicked as they woke up on fire.

His laughter filled the air. It wasn’t as personal as using a knife but the slow painful burning process did have it’s perks.

* * *

Harley had just sedated Joker, he wouldn’t sit still and didn’t want him pulling his stitches. She was sitting by the front door with her bat waiting for Lucy to finally make her way home. She wasn’t getting off easily, she tried to kill Joker. She had the fucking nerve to shoot Joker right in front of Harley. Did she think that she was getting off with two little shots? Oh no, Harley usually left Joker to deal with the children’s punishments but no this time was different. She had to teach her daughter a lesson.

She ended up not having to wait too long, Lucy walked in and was greeted with a swing to the chest. Harley didn’t pause for even a second, just smashing the bat down onto Lucy’s body, the third blow, which was to the head, knocked her out so Harley was free to smash the bat down without any fight from the teen.

After a few minutes Harley stopped breathing heavily. She bent down, grabbing her daughter’s bloody face in her hands.

“Don’t you ever forget who is in charge.” She let her head drop before leaving her there. Johnny could deal with her. Right now Harley didn’t care if she survived. No one tries to take her Puddin’ from her.

* * *

When Damian arrived to the school he couldn’t find Lucy. She didn’t answer his messages or calls. After two classes he finally had one with Jay, if he couldn’t find Lucy he could at least ask Jay if she was even in.

When he entered the room he found Jay by a window. Damian slipped into the desk behind the other guy.

“Hey, where’s Lucy? We have a lunch date but I couldn’t find her.”

“She’s home.”

“Is she sick?”

“I don’t know, our mom told me that she wasn’t coming today.” It was true, Harley had Frost move Lucy from the doorway and into one of the playrooms. She was really unhinged. He wanted to tell Damian that she was most likely dead but in case she wasn’t that wold ruin their plan. “I’ll go home lunch time and tell her to call you.” He was already texting Johnny to wake his parents and figure out what to do.

“Okay thanks.” Damian wanted to say that he didn’t mind driving over to their house but Alfred would lecture him about manners if he invited himself to someone’s house.

Jay grinned down at his phone, Johnny was a genius and truly underpaid.

* * *

Bruce was down in the Batcave trying to figure out who was responsible for killing a group of homeless people by setting them on fire. Burning someone alive wasn’t anyone’s usual motive which led him to worry about a new comer to Gotham, he was currently trying to find any link between this and any other known criminal in his large database.

“Sir, a Johnathan Frost is on the line for you.” Alfred had the masked phone on a tray waiting for Bruce to pick it up.

“What is it Frost?” Bruce growled into the phone.

“I’m done ever helping you! Because of that stunt you pulled last night my daughter is in the hospital! Joker thinks I teamed up with you and he and that crazed chick attacked my family. My daughter is in a coma! I’m scared of you, but I’m way more terrified of them!” Frost hung up and Bruce looked at Alfred relaying what happened.

“It makes sense at least for Bruce to go to the hospital. Wanting to check on your son’s girlfriend isn’t abnormal.”

“I take it you will require your cheque book Sir?”

“I will so I can pay for the medical bills.” Bruce wasn’t looking forward to telling Damian. He knew he would blame himself, it was his idea to get inside the club, it was this action which caused Joker to think Frost betrayed him. If Bruce had assigned someone to be watching the Frost family then they could have stopped Joker and Harley from beating them.

* * *

Lucy was lying in a hospital bed, her wig was in place and her whole body (even the skin that was covered by the gown, couldn’t be too safe) was covered in the make up making her skin look normal and tattoo free. The blood was cleaned off but bandages which covered her arms, right cheek and parts of her stomach and legs were slowly growing bloodier.

Getting her into the hospital wasn’t easy, it took bribes, threats and some old friends from medical school (Johnny was positive Harley must have a magical pussy if an old fling from medical school would still do anything she asked) to treat her and emit her under her false name.

Frost stayed by her side, he had told J.J. to tell Damian what happened, that Joker and Harley did this. She had smashed ribs, one of her lungs was punctured by a broken rib, her arm, nose, jaw, cheekbones and left leg were broken. She was being kept in a medically induced coma.

Johnny was dealing with many of the lower rung goons blowing up his phone with concern for their own lives, if Harley nearly killed her own kid what’s stopping her from killing them on a whim. Apparently none of them seemed to care that what caused her to lose it was the fact that Lucy tried to kill Joker. If none of the goons tried to kill Boss Man, they had nothing to really worry about.

“Mr. Frost?” Damian Wayne was just outside the room, Johnny could see his father behind him a few feet and offered the teen a small smile. He had met Damian exactly three times before at school functions, he was still trying to figure out a way to get the boy to the house while hiding all evidence of the true house owners.

“Hello Damian. Mr. Wayne.”

“Please call me Bruce. I am so sorry about what happened.”

“Thank you, you’re too kind. It’s my fault, I should have just abandoned the club once they started hanging around but I was afraid. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the actions of madmen.” Bruce placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “You were just trying to provide for your family.”

Damian was standing at Lucy’s side. He kept thinking about how if he didn’t go inside the club, if he didn’t try and figure out just what that family was up to, his girlfriend would be okay. “I’m going to make them pay Lucy. I promise.” He whispered taking her hand in his own. He was going to make Harley and Joker pay. He was going to show them the pain that they caused to others. They want to destroy someone’s daughter. Fine. They had two kids, Damian would show them what pain they caused others.

* * *

J.J. was back home with his parents. Neither one seemed to concerned about what was going on with Lucy, Joker asked once if Frost’s idea worked and once that was confirmed he didn’t bring up anything related to her.

He knew what his parents were like. He knew that he was only born as a way to continue the line, a form of immortality. It wasn’t due to any paternal feelings or wanting. He was pretty sure if anyone killed them they would be pissed, if nothing else than because they didn’t to end their lives personally.

He was surprised Lucy was still alive, wither it was from her own strength or from their mother’s restraint he had no idea.

You just don’t shot Joker and then not go immediately for Harley. You kill them both seconds a part or not at all. Otherwise the other will kill you.


End file.
